The studio audience go wild as Davey, Donny, Daphne and Deirdre Doodah materialise on the sofa next to Bright Diamond’s retro rocket stool. With real abandon, Bright Diamond high-fives himself before moving on to do the same with Doodah.
‘Hi Six,’ he squeals. ‘Hi Seven and Eight. Hi Nine. Well how’s that, then? Ka-boooey!’
Doodah try to return the gesture but their timing is slightly off. Bright Diamond sits back down.
‘So Doodah are here!!!!!’
The audience go wild.
‘How are you guys today?’
‘We are One-Thumb, Two-Thumb Good,’ say Doodah as one and in a carefully-rehearsed manoeuvre that they almost carry off, Davey, Donny, Daphne and Deirdre stick their thumbs up for the camera.
In case you aren’t sure what is going on here, Doodah’s thumbs-up manoeuvre is a reference to the title of their latest galaxy-busting hit. You know? The one that goes like this:
We are One-Thumb, Two-Thumb Good,
Bringing Joy to the Neighbourhood,
Nothing ever Stops us Smiling,
Nothing ever Could,
We Just Keep on Going Because
We are One-Thumb, Two-Thumb Good
‘Well how’s that, then? Ka-boooey!’ says Bright Diamond. He turns to Davey Doodah.
‘Davey Doodah, are you excited about tonight’s concert?’
According to the latest edition of the Doodah Friendship Holiday Annualfor Lifelong and Special Fans Like You, available in hardback, softback, download, ebook or audio, pirate, torrent or shoplift, Davey Doodah really likes lemonade and when he isn’t working, he enjoys turning old birthday cards into gift tags.
His favourite ready meal is lasagne and if he wasn’t in Doodah, he thinks he would like to build schools for really, really poor and hungry children, ‘to help them with learning books and stuff.’
‘I’m really, really, really, really excited,’ Davey replies toothfully. ‘It feels just like we are coming home.’
‘That is because you are,’ says Bright Diamond rather too quickly. He turns to Camera Four and grins. ‘You were all born in Panic Town.’
Camera Five for catchphrase.
‘Well how’s that, then? Ka-boooey!’
Cut back to a slightly sheepish-looking Davey.
‘Yeah, I know I was born there,’ says Davey, ‘but it does still feel like we’re coming home, just in a slightly different way.’
Thinking on his feet, Bright Diamond realises that Davey could very well be heading down a very complicated avenue if he keeps up the coming home chat so instead, he turns to bonny bouncing Donny Doodah.
He will be thrilled if you follow him on Twitter! Falcon Boy @PBoyProductions #afairlyhopelesshero
She couldn’t care less if you follow her on Twitter! Pearly Stockwell @PearlyStockwell
If universal destruction is more like your business then why not follow Dr Don’t Know on Twitter @drdontknow
If POP is more your thing then why not follow the world’s greatest band Doodah on Twitter @deirdredoodah