Falcon Boy: Vol. 1: 46 ‘What are you doing, Mr Frog?’ Part II

Falcon Boy laughed triumphantly and Ellis suddenly wished that she had just kept quiet. Falcon Boy interpreted Ellis’s response as a desire for more.

output_zW0yIK‘Perhaps you’ll get this one,’ he said excitedly. ‘What cheese do you use to hide a horse? Mascarpone. Why did the fish cry? Because the seaweed. How many women do you find in a monastery? Nun.’

Falcon Boy was warming to the task. ‘What about a riddle?’ he asked. ‘If it takes a week to walk a fortnight, how many apples in a barrel of pears? I have three legs standing and four legs sitting. How many legs do I have when I go to sleep?

A green bean, a red ball and a yellow bicycle are in a blue bucket. Which one is broken? When I went to bed, I was the oldest man in the world. When I woke up, I wasn’t. What happened? Three men. One spade. Two holes. Discuss. I’m equal to, but not less than. I’m in and around, but not under. I’m about and between, but not nearly enough. How close am I?’

‘Enough!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!’ cried Ellis, echoing the thoughts of the entire planet, past, present and future. ‘I don’t need to hear any more.’

You probably feel the same way as Ellis. People say that laughter is the best medicine but these people haven’t heard what we have just heard. Jokes as bad as these are likely to make people ill, not make them feel better.

Falcon Boy laughed loud, long and heartily. The kind of laugh that is just so infuriating that anyone laughing this way should be fired into space strapped to a rocket, marooned on a desert island, forced to knock on every door in Panic Town to apologise in person, or be sprayed bright red with irremovable paint as a permanent reminder of how irritating their laugh really is.

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FBAPPEARANCE2He will be thrilled if you follow him on Twitter! Falcon Boy @PBoyProductions #afairlyhopelesshero

CeLEhc6W8AANLy6.jpg_largeShe couldn’t care less if you follow her on Twitter! Pearly Stockwell @PearlyStockwell

DRDIf universal destruction is more like your business then why not follow Dr Don’t Know on Twitter @drdontknow

Author: Barnaby Taylor

Inspired by his passion for films and video games, Barnaby Taylor loves writing dystopian science fiction and horror. He has recently written the VIRO series about a gang of teenagers struggling to survive in a world overrun by the infected. There are currently three books in the series and Book Four is on the way. VIRO is rapidly infecting the Amazon charts and gaining rave reviews along the way. Here's one of the latest reviews: 'I found myself sucked right into the characters and never-ending action and gore page after page. I very rarely buy books, but immediately purchased number two which I found equally as engrossing. Yesterday I bought book three in the VIRO series and instead of a good night's sleep I've got red eyes and a need for Red Bull! Fantastic series for all my zombie lovers out there!' Book One is currently FREE to download at the following links: http://bit.ly/VIRO1UKKindle http://bit.ly/VIROBOOK1 Barnaby posts weekly updates on his writing on his blog and you can follow these updates at www.falconboy.ie. You can also find him on Twitter @BarnabyFTaylor.

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